God is sovereign. This is a fact. In light of the recent tragedy, I know a lot of people are asking, "How could a loving God let this happen?" "Why?" and the other "tough questions." I'm not the right person to answer this, but NO ONE has the answers. I've been praying about this post, and I hope that it would help at least one person, a little bit.
I can't pretend to understand how God works. I don't know why what happened Friday in Newtown, Connecticut, happened. A lot of people are saying this wasn't God's will, and it wasn't, originally. All of the evil came into the world when Adam and Eve chose to disobey God and fell into sin. If you look at their family, things were messed up even all the way back then-one son killed another out of envy. God knew that Adam and Eve would sin, but He still gave them the ability to choose right or wrong. I don't understand this completely, either-how can God preordain things and still give us a choice? Is our choice preordained whether we realize it or not?
Lamentations 3:37-38 tells us, "Who can speak and have it happen if the Lord has not decreed it? Is it not from the mouth of the Most High that both calamities and good things come?" Some people would say that God is evil then, to have "caused" this. But God cannot sin-He is holy, just, and loving, everything that we are not.
What I do know is this-if this happened outside of God's will, our God isn't sovereign. And if our God isn't sovereign, then He can't have control over everything. And if there are things outside of God's control...that's not good. It'd mess up the whole plan since before time began, the way that Adam and Eve and the rest of us can have a relationship with Him after they fell and we were all born into sin.
See, Jesus is THE way, THE truth, and THE life, and no one comes to God the Father except through Him. God provided a way out of sin and death and darkness, into the light, into life, and that's Jesus. And I firmly believe that those twenty little children are with Him now. Although it seems SO unfair that they never had the chance to live their lives, to graduate, to get married, they are in the presence of a Father who loves them more than we can imagine. They will never suffer again.
I know, that sounds pretty interesting, right? No, I'm not talking about being physically pregnant-not married and SO not ready for that!-but about a video that my friend Melissa showed me last night that actually has to relate with what I'm going through.
I don't know if any of you have ever heard of Joyce Meyer-I hadn't really listened to her or read any of her books (she has like a BILLION of them!) but what Melissa showed me last night really spoke to me. Assuming I can figure out how to do it, I'll post the link right here:
Ok, so you can check it out for yourself if you'd like-the whole video is really good, but it's starting at about 15:13 that really spoke to me. Just before this, she uses the illustration of John 21, when Peter decides to go out and go fishing, and 6 of the other disciples go with him. They fish all night and don't catch a thing, and in the morning Jesus comes (but they don't know it's Him) and tells them to cast the net off the right side of the boat. They catch so many fish they can't reel them in!
Joyce says that sometimes being out of God's timing means being out of His will, that you can know (or think you know) what God wants you to do, but act in your emotions without waiting for His timing and still have it not work out. And this is frustrating (oh, yes, is it frustrating!) because deep down, we know it's His will, and we don't understand, and we can't figure it out.
Once upon a time (last spring) I tried to have a blog. That lasted for about a month, or maybe 5 posts...I couldn't even tell you. I may end up using some of the posts from that blog, or may direct anyone who ever decides to read this to a post.
Why have I decided to blog again? And right at the busiest time of the semester, with portfolios due for my writing classes, and essays to write, and finals to study for? One, because I'm insane (in the best sense of the word) and two, because I think a lot. Probably more than is healthy for me. And I dream-literally and figuratively. I have so much that I want to do with my life, and I know that God's plans for me are even crazier and better than anything I might have floating around in my head. I guess I'm just hoping to chronicle the process as best as I can, share what I learn along the way, and hopefully figure out what it is exactly that I'm supposed to do with my life, seeing as how I only have a year left of college after this semester (yes, I'm trying to graduate in 2.5 years instead of 4-see reason number one for blogging again!).
So what have I learned since my last blogging attempt? A few Spanish verb tenses, a couple of crazy camp songs...and that sometimes God has us wait! Crazy, right?
